I recently started watching my nieces again since my sister went back to teaching full time. It's hard because I have to sleep on their couch three days a week and miss having my own space. But I get to do the greatest things too. Like today, I was putting Amelia down for her nap and her three year old self insisted she didn't need to sleep. She refused to pick out any books to read before nap time, so I did. I choose two books about how much God loves us. One is this amazing book called "God Gave Us You" which always makes me cry. Of course today it did as well. But not for the usual reasons-gratitude for the gift of these girls, but for a new reason.
I have been feeling that God is slowly working on my need to rely on things other than Him for comfort. My accessible apartment, for example. I love it and could not imagine moving. Even though it's been a huge blessing, I have been feeling God slowly teaching me that I would be ok without it. That I can live anywhere, accessible or not, if I have Him. Just one of many examples.
I have been aware of these changes and have recognized that the last thing I felt a need to cling to was being near my nieces. I love them so much and would hate to not be a significant part of their lives because I lived far away. I have justified my position to God by claiming that I am the main, near daily Christian influence in their lives, and how would God bring them into salvation without me?
While I was reading this book, listening to Amelia snore, I gave the girls to God. I released my need to see them, so that God's will can be done in my life. This does not mean that He has plans for me to move etc. but I know He wants me WILLING to go where ever He sends me. My Lord loves them even more than I do, so they will always be in the best of hands.
Once, There Were Two Sisters
6 months ago