Sad week

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Cor. 12:9 (HCSB)

I have been keeping up to date on when Pastor Driscoll has been doing in Haiti via his facebook page and noticed a comment by someone that was to a link to blogspot blog. I followed the link and ugh, the most recent post was by family letting the readers know that Molly, the blog's author was dead. As I read about this young woman I of course started to cry. She moved to Haiti 6 months ago to work in an orphanage. While it was not totally clear if she was a Christian, some of the comments suggest that she was.

Pastor Driscoll's post have been equally upsetting; tales of him seeing countless dead. I'm sorry to say he witnessed a young man being shot dead just outside of a local seminary.

Now, I have no idea if I would be strong enough to go and do what these people did, but oh how I wish I could. I hate that my chair keeps me on the bench. I hate that I can't just volunteer and poof! I'm living this extraordinary life being of service to people in need. Most people see tragedy like this and may stop for a few moments to take it in, but few have the drive to go! do! throw off convention and risk! That's what I want. That's how I want to live. Instead I sit and live this little life, feeling inconsequential.

I know that my God is good and has a plan to use my skills and limitations for His glory, but I can't get over feeling that I am missing it somehow. Like figuring out His plan for my life is a maze I have to conquer. This is not how He works, yet I can't grasp how He does work. *sigh* It's late and I'm rambling. I just needed to talk about Pastor Mark and Molly.